Are you thinking about getting a divorce, but your spouse controls all of the family finances? If you don’t have access to bank accounts, investment statements, or even basic information about income and expenses, you are not alone—and you are not powerless.
I’m Matt Dolan of Dolan Divorce Lawyers, the largest divorce and family law firm in the state, and this article explains what to do if your spouse controls all the money in a Connecticut divorce and how to gain financial clarity from here.
There is a broad spectrum of reasons why one spouse may handle all of the household money. On one end, it may be relatively innocent. Sometimes one spouse simply manages the finances because the other has no interest in budgeting, taxes, or investments. In these cases, there may be no intent to hide or withhold money.
On the other end of the spectrum, financial control can be a form of abuse. A spouse may take advantage of another, including:
No matter where your situation falls, Connecticut law provides tools to help you educate and protect yourself during a divorce when your spouse controls all the finances.
If you file for divorce in Connecticut, both spouses are required to provide full financial disclosure.
During the divorce process, you can obtain financial records through formal discovery. This may include:
Your spouse has a legal obligation to disclose accurate financial information, helping ensure these finances do not stay in their control during your Connecticut divorce.
In every Connecticut divorce case, both parties must file a Financial Affidavit with the court. This document lists:
Even if you were completely in the dark about your family’s finances during the marriage, the divorce process requires transparency. This is often the first step toward understanding the true financial picture.
If your spouse controls the money and stops paying bills or supporting you financially during your Connecticut divorce, you can seek temporary court orders. In this state, these are called pendente lite orders, which means “during litigation.” You may file motions for:
These temporary orders are designed to maintain financial stability while your divorce is pending. Importantly, filing pendente lite motions does not mean you are in an abusive situation. Many divorcing couples simply need court guidance on who will pay what while the case is ongoing.
In more serious situations, financial control may rise to the level of coercive control under Connecticut law and make divorce cases more difficult. Connecticut General Statutes § 46b-1 defines coercive control to include behaviors such as:
If you are experiencing coercive control, you may be eligible to file for a restraining order.
Unlike pendente lite motions—which can take several weeks to be heard—a restraining order application is reviewed by a judge “on the papers.” The court can enter immediate temporary orders before a full hearing, which is typically scheduled within 14 days. This can provide fast protection if you are being financially cut off or threatened.
If your spouse controls all of the money and you are considering divorce in Connecticut, here are practical steps to consider:
Do not put yourself at risk to obtain documents. Your safety comes first.
If you are wondering what to do if your spouse controls all the money in a Connecticut divorce, early legal advice can make a significant difference in protecting your rights. At Dolan Divorce Lawyers, the largest divorce and family law firm in Connecticut, we regularly help clients obtain financial disclosures, secure temporary support orders, address coercive control and financial abuse, and develop strategic plans before filing for divorce.
If you have questions about your specific situation or are considering filing for divorce, contact Dolan Divorce Lawyers to schedule a consultation. We are here to help you understand your options and protect your financial future.
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